No One Will Even Notice

I think to myself why I even started a blog page. Is it to have people be intrigued by my thoughts and deeds ? I'm not very interested in what I do every day and I know what I'm doing with myself. Now, though, I've decided to retire. And, by that I mean, my old way of doing things. I was never that good at being a drinker, smoking cigs never gave me the super powers I was hoping for either. I think in changing these things, I can use some of that luck which has helped keep me from death and danger when I used to do my Harry Houdini drinking acts these past twelve years for something better. I don't mean for winning the Lotto or something; although, I'm not completely against that happening of course, but I'm going for something else now. The TV is a drain on the brain and there's plenty outside...just not in Queens. So, till I get stuck back on my 9-5, I'm done with the same old trappings. I'm going to be free.

I Almost Always Never Play Games on My Phone

Well, I just got on my sister's family plan with Verizon. It's cool that considering we have not been very "together" in the past few years that we are getting very close now, both in our relationships and proximity. And, there's another on the way, he/she will have the sex determined next month, and the coming out party is in September!!!!! I'm starting "The City & The City" today. It's a book by China Mieville who's my steampunk connect now since I read "Perdido Street Station" and got my mind blown!!!! I know its an old expression but doesn't fail to bring about the image of how my imagination felt as I read this awesome author's words. Back to the original topic though, I got the lovely Droid Pro as my new Verizon phone!!!! This isn't my first stint with the V-Network, I had them awhile back and was just annoyed and frustrated by fluctuating cellphone bills. And, I wanted an IPhone...whatevers. ANYWAYS, I said I wouldn't get caught up with any games on my new smartphone and have almost immediately failed on the initial attempt. I've had the phone since Monday and played World Series of Poker daily for a good couple of hours. Fortunately, the Easter break helped cover my ass from any significant scholastic boo-boos, but I saw where this would be an issue if continued for any longer than a week. Even those few days were precious and I could have started my new Mieville novel then and been well into it, but it is what it is now. I have three weeks left of classes. I just need to coast and get the grades I need to feel at ease come summer. Unfortunately, it means memorizing minute parts of the brain, spinal cord, eye and other pretty rough shit. Thankfully, I know once this semester is a wrap, I'm stepping onto another new path, but my heart and head are in agreement for what is to come. I'm going to use all advice, both spoken and written, tricks, dealings, and whatever else it takes to get to my end goal: Contentment. I don't believe this to be an emotion or feeling, it's a lifestyle. Well, that's what I'm calling it. That's all I need.

Letting the TV watch YOU...

Ok, I have decided to significantly cut down on my TV viewing for awhile. I have come to the conclusion that TV is a subconscious messenger that whispers sweetly, "Watch what I can do...", over and over again like the sweet, innocent child you can simply not deny. Well, TV ain't no baby!!! It allows no glimpse into our souls or those of others when it shows us "The Real World". I, for example, never really go out unless its to hang out and go to a friends house and end up watching tv, going for a drink where there are more TVs, and its like the default setting with your friends even there with you that once the conversation slacks off, just stare at the tube. Even when you don't give a good goddamn about whats on the screen. Sadly, my imagination and motivation to go outside has become almost imperceptible. So, I've diagnosed myself and know what the best treatment is for this ailment. I know, being a student currently allows for me to get out when others can't decide to explore new things with their 9-5 or other particular work shifts. The ability to accomplish this task for anyone holds its own separate obstacles, but I don't care to watch life go by, I want to live mine. I think that the popular idea of finding contentment is seen it takes days, months, years etc. to find a moment of simple joy, but nothing is infallible in this world, experience is a great teacher, and I'm ready to do some learning.

What purpose does one see in having the world take a blind eye to them???? Does it help to forget their own dreams lost and failures gained? To wish for more Yes!!! And less No...maybe its just easier to forget yourself when you finally decide the world is just not for me...- Thoughts after reading "Exit Ghost"

Screw Destiny!!!!

I just realized today why I shouldn't feel like I'm destined to do ANYTHING ever again. It's a goddamn trap. Even when people say someone is destined for greatness in a particular sport/field or whatever, that person might not even want to do that thing rather than have to spend every waking hour becoming better at something they despise. This isn't even something that we do to people but whole countries, races, to those things that we come to such a quick conclusion to not allow for something greater. Usually, cause we as a society lose faith in people. And, its not even something promoted in our day and age. I am not just talking about people advancing in their own financial status since that is the scale for all success, at the end of the day how much money can you say you've been able to make. Honestly, I'm really just putting this down for myself. I don't want to fail at this, and by this I just mean my life.

Just got the new Twitter!!!! Suck it Biatches!!!! I still love ya'll though

Sleeping The Day Away

Sometimes it is possible to lose a whole day with your eyes open. We promote this constant idea that working hard is the only thing that people should have to do in life for themselves. My old man says that people were put on this earth for three things: 1) To be born, 2) To pay taxes, and 3) To die. My current position in life is nothing to be envious of, but I sternly believe that I can do something for myself. Something hopefully of note. To make my days something to remember and not hope for better things and die wishing I had tried for more. No time is too late, right ?